Our benovelent/malevolent overlord, Theo Monster

Recommendation From Theo

The monster recommends The Houses That October Built. 

A horror movie shot documentary-style, a group of friends embark on a tour of southern US haunted houses looking the ever elusive “real” scares, where there have been stories of people using “extreme” methods to give visitors an actual dose of fear. Unfortunately the people running those types of haunted houses don’t take too kindly to being recorded and judged. And it only gets worse from there.

An entertaining film without being too reliant on jump-scares, this movie captures the feel of being shadowed and prodded along a path you no longer wish to be on, trapped in a Hell where you don’t know what’s out there, what’s real and what isn’t. Light-hearted fun goes bad real fast.

Check out the trailer below and remember, keep it monstrous.

-Theo

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Monday Night With Theo

There is a rather daunting lack of interest in my life. 

Monday Night With Theo

Just kidding, I’m a monster. What’s there to know?

No, instead I am here to address a very serious issue: closets.

They are not inter-dimensional portals. Stop cramming your junk into them because I am not going to take it anymore. Coopid is not going to take it either, and that’s not just because he doesn’t exist.

Someone told me a story about how four mortal children walked into a wardrobe, and ended up in another world altogether. That is just a story.

Narnia is not real.

Neither is Middle Earth (which has little to do with closets).

For your own safety, barricade your closet from the outside. Do it. Do it now. And don’t ask any questions.

And for the love of spaghetti, stop hiding your old shoes in there. They stink to the high heavens.

With love,

Theo Monster

Note: We would like it to be known that the views and opinions expressed by our overlord are not necessarily our own. We’ll probably be devoured for speaking this truth.

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