A Most Humble Apology

Ashkenaz is an A$#h@!3, and Theo would like to apologize for his misbehaviour.

A Most Humble Apology

That is correct. Ashkenaz is a trial at the best of times. Clever he can be, but insufferable he can be tenfold. Don’t pay any mind to him.

It is true that the minions are busy with their lives. I assure you that they are still working hard to keep me from devouring your world. They do a very good job at it. It is also true that they work and read. It could be worse. At least they’re not spectral gas-beings.

Also, I would like to apologize for any name calling. He thinks he knows everything. Dump a bucket of water on him if you ever see him, and then we shall see what he knows.

Another point of interest: Ashkenaz made mention of a Coopid. In fact, he’s popped up several times in the past. This messenger does not exist. And it did not fall off of my backside.

That’s just too poetic for me to even stomach.

Yours truly,

Theo Monster

P.S: Anything that is slightly arcane, I would appreciate that you promptly forget it.

P.P.S: To the man wearing the purple sweater: well done!


Scared Yet: A Recommendation

Scared Yet: A Recommendation

The Jon human has prepared this recommendation article for you before he left for his day-job as the Penny human is also preoccupied with things like “work” and “responsibilities.” Theo cares not for these things but shall allow their lives to continue…for now. Look upon this article, ye mortals, and despair. – Theo Monster

Are you a fan of honest, fairly put opinions on literature? Yes? That’s great. Do you enjoy Creepypasta stories? No? Never heard of ’em? Well, that’s an easy fix, weary internet traveller.  Here’s a quick definition from the wiki:

Creepypasta are essentially internet horror stories, passed around on forums and other sites to disturb and frighten readers. The name “Creepypasta” comes from the word “copypasta”, an internet slang term for a block of text that gets copied and pasted over and over again from website to website. Creepypastas are sometimes supplemented with pictures, audio and/or video footage related to the story, typically with gory, distorted, or otherwise shocking content.

Now that you know what they are, you’re probably wondering “So what should I read first?” Well, I’d recomened checking out Kris Straub’s review series Scared Yet? which is a video review series featuring the author/cartoonist himself. Kris Straub, who wrote the amazing and frightening Candle Cove as well as the fantastic Broodhollow (which was reviewed on this very website) is doing this as a reward for his Kickstarter campaign raising enough money.

Kris Straub is an amazingly talented creative person and loves horror stories, particularly  of the more subtle, Lovecraftian type.  His reviews are honest, safe for work (as far as I can tell), straight to the point and fun. He even reads little snippets of certain stories and lists what they did right or wrong in his opinion. All in all a fair review even if he doesn’t enjoy the story/stories he’s encountered. I do not know how many he’ll be doing (hopefully lots) and the upload schedule is also unknown to me (hopefully more soon) but it’s still worth a look and listen.

If you’re a horror fan, a Creepypasta fan or simply looking for a good review then check out Scared Yet? by Kris Straub.

– J “the Human” Kruschack