It Burped Like a Boss

It opened its terrible mouth and let out a deafening belch.

The burp of a boss.

All the walls crumpled like candy floss

being stomped on

by a poisonous green mace wielding clown.

And when they fell down

the great spider queen frowned

at the houses: they were inside-out,

and upside down.

So the district manager came down from space.

He took one look at the mess,

shrugged, went: “Meh,”

then decided to call the place Sault Ste. Misery.

Now that leaves us here,

trapped within the eternal weird.

Welcome to the kingdom of the apathetic, my dear!

Where the patron saints are Drugs and Beer,

and ugly, drunk, racist white fogeys

steal jobs from the bogies!

What’s that?

You’ve been here for two years, and can’t find a job which pays in real money?

Welfare is always hiring honey!

But I blame IT for our clear loss

(and our penchant for not caring, not using signal lights, and wearing leopard print onesies)

Because it burped like a boss!

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